My Mom is awesome! She has been here for a full month, taking care of me, the cooking, weeding and caring for the backyard. In the mornings I'll see her outside working in the gardens, cleaning things up, watering and fussing around in general. She doesn't like housework, so that has suffered, but my yard looks great! I'm feeling well enough to clean the kitchen and sweep a bit.

I have to admit, it's pretty funny now, I am coming into the kitchen after her, cleaning up the counters and dishes. I used to be the one making messes in the kitchen, now she is, and I'm the one fussing about the mess! She told me recently that she leaves everything on the counter because otherwise she forgets what she's bought, and freely admits her memory isn't great any more. Her feet bother her a lot, as well as her knees, but she keeps on trucking. She is an amazing driver, she can park a 33 foot motorhome easily, and although slow and careful, is capable of handling great distances with aplomb. When she leaves here, she will go to Sacramento California area to be with her brother, my uncle Jerry, as he completes his earthly journey. He has terminal cancer and is slowly succombing to the disease. Mom was there for a month, in July, but when I was facing another surgery she came back here. Her summer has been spent nursing the sick, hopefully winter will bring some relief, rest and respite.

I put a picture of a hawk or falcon on the right- I wish it was a better one, but he was so cool, sitting in a tree in my back yard. He was hunting birds- I feed a lot of birds, and he was hoping for an easy meal that day. Luckily, I got a shot of him, but he didn't catch any of my little birds, at least not that day.

Lord of the Rings

Since I've so much time to sit around, I've been reading, a lot. I read 3-4 of the Tony Hillerman books, which were very good, easy to read and interesting. So now I've taken on the full Lord of the Rings trilogy.... again. OK, so I've already admitted to being a geek, and it all started with the Trilogy, back in the 70's. I was introduced to J R Tolkien in college, and love his writing style. I used to read the whole trilogy every year, for years. It's almost embarrasing to admit how often I read it! After I started having kids, I just didn't have time to be a Mom, wife, work , go to school and read all night long. Oh yeah, I can't just read a book, I have to finish it, even if that means being up all night for days on end. When a book is 1000 pages or so, it's tough to read overnight.

What else is going on? We are a convalescent home for the past 10 days. I'm recovering, and my daughter had to have surgery on Sept. 7. They removed a melanoma mole, and ended up taking a lot more tissue than originally planned. She has been on crutches, in a leg splint to her knee, for 2 weeks. Now that we've seen the wound, it's more understandable why she's been down for days, they took a pretty good chunk out of her leg. That just takes time to heal. So, we've been reminding each other to take it easy and not overdo things, which is pretty hard, frankly.

Yeah! The temperature has finally dropped below 100 degrees! It's been a long hot summer, and it actually felt chilly last night, for the first time since April, I think.

Musings

I was on Craig's list philosophy forum, and there was a question about how to redesign society. Here's my thoughts, based on years of research as a probation officer and student of human behavior. The best functioning societies, although not always the most financially successful, share some common elements. First of all the revere their elderly, and treat them with utmost respect. They also value family, and teaching their children the values of their culture. Honor and integrety are paramount, followed typically by a willingness to work for what they have, not just expect someone else to take care of their basic needs. Our country started out with these elements, but somewhere along the way we have lost most of them.

How do we 'redesign society'? How do we return to a country that has fewer people in prison and on welfare, and more productive, honest members of the community? I believe it has to start at our own level, within our own lives and hearts. How each of us lives, and the influence we spread to our families, our communities and our country. Are we willing to live with more integrity, honesty, morality? Are we willing to care for our own, whether they are aged or infant, and even sacrifice some of our own desires and dreams in order to do so?

We have become a selfish and greedy society, fascinated by the rich and famous, and many people are willing to neglect the most important people in their lives in order to live closer to those materialistic role models.

So we each have a choice, every day. I challenge each of us to live stronger, more moral lives, with great integrity. Let's put our family first, without sacrificing our own sense of self worth. That's tricky, I struggle with it still, but well worth the effort. Let us set an example, teach integrity at every opportunity. One of my favorite books was 'Developing Capable Young People', about teaching children to be responsible, capable adults. I found I used it with my clients- most of them were teenagers mentally, just in adult bodies I can only hope that some of them learned to live more responsibly, with better coping skills and more willingness to take responsibility for their own actions. And that's my story, and I'm stickin' to it...

I've been very busy trying to take it easy, in the morning I have to check my pond, feed the goldfish, look over the garden, wander around until Mom makes me go sit down again. I have butt rash from sitting so much! It's been so hot outside, yesterday was 109 on the porch, that it's easier to stay inside during the afternoon. I read Nisha's blog, takes me back. Even though my youngest kid is 24, I remember being pregnant. Some of the most amazing months for any woman, and the man that loves her. I was so jealous of my older sister, she thrived in pregnancy- no morning sickness, very little discomfort. I was sick for months, then waddled like a duck and felt like a whale the rest. But feeling a baby kick, seeing the ultrasound, knowing I was carrying a life, safely protected inside my womb- there is no way to describe that joy.

While I'm staying quiet, I've had time to organize My Documents on my computer, boy do I have a lot of junk! Recipes, knitting patterns, lots of letters I've written, and on and on. I'm telling you, I'm desperate! If I have to spend time organizing virtual information, I really have too much down time. However, the wounds on my chest haven't even healed yet, so I still have weeks to go before I can get more active than knitting, reading and of course, organizing my sad computer. I guess walking or yoga are out for now.....

Sick Summer

Did I mention I had heart surgery? No, actually, I had surgery again. I didn't have much time to plan, really.... I couldn't clean the house, just had time to get the porch plants watered, the fish fed with a weekender block, pack a little bag, fall apart at the seams. Luckily my sister was here, and when I got a call from the cardiologist that there was more fluid on my heart, and he wanted a surgeon to operate that week, I had someone here to pick up the pieces. He called Tuesday, and that afternoon the surgeon's office called, said to be at his office on Thursday and he'd do surgery on Friday!

David took me to Scottsdale Thursday, we did all the pre-op stuff that day, and went into the hospital Friday. Unfortunately, I got bumped from the 7:30 am slot to later, because some poor lady had to have bypass surgery, then they couldn't find decent veins in her legs to use. I wheeled into surgery at 4:00, which is scary, because statistics show more mistakes occur during afternoon surgery. Oh well, everything went well, although my chest looks like it's been used for target practice. I have 3 poke holes on the right, then 3 on the left that are bunched up all together. Then of course I have the vertical scars down the sternum from the July surgery. Mine still don't even come close to the size of Jared's, though, so I shouldn't complain. OK, I will just a little! Saturday and Sunday were awful, then things started getting better. David, Debbie Mom, and my friend Julie set up a watch schedule, and there was someone with me 24 hours a day through Tues. It made things so much more bearable, that's for sure. I was released on Thursday, and we stayed with David's sister Trish that night. I got the luxury ride home on Friday, my Mom brought her motor home and I got to sleep most of the way. It's nearly a 3 hour drive at times, so that made it much more bearable.

I have the hardest job now, which is to take it easy and allow my body to heal. I had a blessing that told me I'm to be patient, there's that word again... Anyhow, I have a couple knitting projects I can do, and of course my 'quiet time' will give me more time to blog. Watching the weeds grow in my garden will make being quiet much more difficult though.

The great time about August is watching the hummingbirds fight. Now there are fewer flowers for them, and the feeders are much more popular. I have one right in front of the family room window, so I can knit or surf the internet, read etc. while watching the birds. I have a huge elderberry bush nearby, so they race from it to the feeder, engage in arial combat, chatter and scream at each other, then zoom back. I bet if I looked there would be some hummingbird nests up in the elderberry, but I leave them alone. I don't like people peeping in my bedroom!