Oceanside and mortality

Well, now I can say I drove "from sea to shining sea" this year. Mom called me last week and asked if I could go with her to Oceanside, CA. Her brother had 3 strokes and a heart attack within the past month, and wasn't expected to live, and she wanted to see him before he died.

We left last Friday and got to see Uncle Marvin on Saturday and Sunday. Monday afternoon he passed away, but not until he was able to see all of his family. He was just waiting for his son Tom to fly in from Chicago, and for Mom. While we were there he was able to make jokes, and Mom had a good visit with him. She told him goodbye on Sunday, and told him "Mommy and Daddy are waiting for you." While it was hard to lose him, we are all glad that he's not immobilized and suffering any more.

Sunday my cousins and I went for a drive along the ocean. Tom, Kathy and I walked along the beach, and it was so beautiful. I called Heather and sang "From sea to shining sea" to her, pretty off-key, but so what! I was able to drive from Maine to California in the past 6 months. It was cloudy in New Hampshire, and 40 degrees in April, and it was about 75 degrees and cloudy in Oceanside. A little cool for a desert rat like me, but I love the ocean. While Wes was driving us down the coast, we found the Carlsbad State Park, which is on a cliff overlooking the ocean. It has lots of trees and shrubbery, and an amazing view of the sea, I decided we needed to spend the night there before we left. We booked a spot before we went to see Marvin, and got all the stuff to have a cookout with the cousins.

We went to see Marvin, and he was passing as I walked through his door. I've never been with someone as they were dying, it was a very intense experience. He had let the nurse shave him and cut his hair. He put on his dress pants and a shirt that day. It seemed that once he saw all of his family, he was ready to go and wanted to look good. I feel bad that we didn't get there a little earlier, but I believe that things happen the way they are supposed to, so I have to trust that we really weren't late. Wes and Tom decided to still have the cookout, and Tom made a great meal for everyone. We reminisced about Marvin, talked about his great sense of humor, and how all his kids have inherited it. Tina, Wes' wife, was very close to Marvin, and had some good stories about him. It was healing for me to be on the ocean, feel the breeze, listen to the surf. It gives a broader perspective on eternity, and it was a good way to honor Marvin's memory.