Continuing Saga...

Call me a geek, or a kid, but I don't care, I'm looking forward to the Harry Potter book, and the movie of Order of the Phoenix. I went to the first movie several years ago, and was surprised at how good it was, so I read the book. J.K. writes well, and they are clean books, something hard to find any more. I love that good triumphs over evil, but in an interesting story. So next week will be a busy one for me, I hope, reading the book, then watching the movie on an older H.P book.
Speaking of next week, I had some interesting news today, and not really in a good way. I had a CT scan yesterday, for my abdominal problems- i.e. gut pain. Ran into a little trouble there... drank the lovely 'berry smoothie', which is actually barium in chalky milk. The 1st 32 ozs. weren't too bad, I drank that at 8:00 am. Got to the hospital, went to Radiology, where they so very kindly gave me another 'berry smoothie', which I obligingly choked down. Now, I couldn't eat or drink anything else, and I'm pretty hypoglycemic, so by the last few chalky gulps I was feeling a sugar buzz, and losing focus from the lack of food and water.
The Radiologist finally came to get me, shortly after 11. He was very friendly, and explained everything he was doing beforehand. Then he inserted a 'pic' line into my arm, and have me a shot of and IV dye, to light up my blood system. I made it through the CT scan, which only took a few minutes, then as he was pulling the table back through the system he said "how ya doin?" I said 'not good', and blacked out. Turns out I'm allergic to the dye, and it took them about an hour to get me back. They kept bugging me, all I wanted to do was slip into oblivion, but thank goodness they wouldn't let me. Finally they gave me some Benadryl, after they were sure Heather could pick me up so I didn't have to drive.
Cut to today, my Dr.s office called and said that the CT scan didn't find any problems in my guts, but I have blood in the pericardium around my heart. Now that's the last thing I expected to hear! So, next week I have an echocardigraph scheduled, along with 2 Dr.s appointments. I tell, ya, I hit 50 and just fell apart physically, now what's that about?????

whatalife

Okay, well I've been busy grabbing my gut in pain, it's not the way I like to spend any time! I have a Dr. appointment tomorrow, so hopefully we'll get some answers pretty soon. I realized about Friday, after I hadn't eaten for two days, that this has been a pattern for the past 6 months. Oh yeah, the Dr.'s assured me the gall bladder surgery would solve the problem, and, what a shock, it didn't!

Other than that, I've been researching the Haines family name, and I'm pretty excited that I found William T. Haines with his parents, James and Sarah Haines. They weren't in Texas they were in Georgia... So much for his memory of where the family lived! I found them on the 1870 and 1880 census in Morgan, Hall, Georgia, so it was a pretty solid find.

I've been thinking a lot about the majority of families that homesteaded this great country. Most of them left very little written records, maybe a family bible, handed down to the oldest child often. The rest of the kids were left without the records of their heritage, such a shame! Our solid, hardworking ancestors may have lived and worked in the same place for a several generations, and yet there are rarely newspaper articles, family letters, church or other records that they existed in that time and place. Then, I realized the same thing is happening today. How many of us have our names in the paper, or write a book, leave a mark on this earth for our descendants to find?? We live 50-80 years, have children, provide charitable works, hopefully, in our communities, attend church, join organizations, attend PTA, cub scouts, boy scouts, girl scouts, anything to help our children as they grow up. But, so much of our lives are left unrecorded, unless we decide to write our history, keep a journal, do something to leave a footprint for others to find. I guess I have to work harder to keep a journal...

It's been hotter than he__ here lately, and no rain in sight. I have some beautiful flowers, though, the sunflowers are turning to seed, and the Queen Ann's Lace is proudly reaching for the sky. Some of them are 3 feet high! The carrots, cucumbers and lettuce are coming along nicely. Me and the bees have argued about what time we can each putter in the garden, and I decided to be gracious and give them plenty of time out there without me. The Arizona pine tree we planted last year has grown about five feet! I thought they were slow growing, but it has really taken off. There are strawberry plants, no berries, sadly. I have snapdragons, calla lillies, onions,garlic and a few other treasures in the same bed, and they are pretty happy there.

Knitting rocks!

This is the vest I designed and knitted for Jared, I made him model it for me before he could take it home. He wanted an argyle sweater/vest. so we created a pattern and he was able to have it fitted exactly for him. Says he loves it!

Jared's argyle vest

What price Pain?

I am the age where my nieces, and my children's friends are marrying, and bringing precious new children into this world. On the other side of my life are my elder friends and relatives, some in poor health. A most poignant weekend was spent at the Grand Canyon, where my niece Megan was married. What a joyous occasion! Two different families living states apart, are brought together to celebrate love, and a lifetime commitment made, a new family created, all with the most beautiful backdrop of the cliffs of the Grand Canyon. My dear Uncle Jerry, his wife Barbara and cousin Kathy flew out from California to attend the wedding. Although they were struggling physically, he was determined to come to the wedding to see our family. Mom brought them up in her motorhome, to make the trip a little easier, but he fell several times and had difficulty walking. I think he knew this may be his last big trip, and he loves his sister, my Mom, so much. He was able to see all 4 of Mom's kids at the wedding, and almost all of her grandchildren.

Jerry had cancer surgery several years ago, and the past year has been very difficult for him and his family. Once health problem after another with he and Barbara, leading up to learning last week that the cancer has spread, it's all over his body. Turns out he was right, and his time on this earth is now very limited. It got me thinking about how we come to earth, what we do here, and most intriguing, how and when we leave. I could see the determination in his eyes during their visit, and the comments about this may be the last time he sees the Grand Canyon, Prescott, and all of our family together again. He was saying goodbye to the places of his youth, and the people he loved. What do you say to someone when they comment -"This may be the last time I see your house" "I love Prescott, this may be the last time I can get over here." I just looked him in the eye and said 'I'm so glad you came, and can see the places you love again.

I remember as a child, Mom and Jerry took us to Disney land, it had only been open a few years. We went to the castle, and many fun places, then on to the Pirates of the Carribean. Poor Jerry! At that time he was single, no kids, and suddenly he had a little 5 year old on his lap in a boat, in the dark. I cried, no, actually wailed and bawled, all the way through the Pirates ride. He kept trying to settle me down, showing me they weren't real, but in a 5 year old mind, pirates running around, chasing women, and houses burning looked pretty darn real. I'm sure it was a very long ride for all of us, and the people behind and in front of us. But Jerry was so sweet, and just kept hugging me and comforting me. He's always been that way. My Mom is his only sister, and they are so close, they call weekly, check in on each other, provide love and support to one another. He always tells us kids how much he loves us, and how special we are in his life. I know he loves his children and grandchildren, and I am so glad he has so much love and compassion for our family too.

Yes, the price of love can be high, we have the chance to love and support each other, and then have to prepare to say goodby to loved ones. In our mortal existance, it's times like this the physical limits of these bodies are made jarringly real. Maybe the pain of losing loved ones is too high, if we kept ourselves guarded, less open to pain, it would be easier. Then we would rarely really connect with others, though, always keeping something back, protected. To me, that is too high a price to pay, not being fully involved with family and friends, never letting anyone know who you are inside, and not letting them share their lives with you. I think we really are the sum of our experiences, and the choices we make. The choice to forfeit protection for involvement has a price, but one I'm willing to pay. I am so convinced that our spirits live on, that I plan to ask Jerry to say hello to Grandma and Grandpa for me, I'm sure they will be waiting for him. My prayers and thoughts are with his family, and ours.