Fighting with Fibro

I've been thinking about my frustrations with fibromyalgia. Sometimes I get whiny (inside my head), pondering all the things I could do if I was healthy. Volunteering, working, teaching Sunday School, be a Big Sister, there are so many things I want to accomplish, but my physical limitations get in the way. I heard a radio show this morning about life challenges- and how they make us stronger. Fibro is certainly a challenge, but I keep looking at it as something getting in my way. The radio host talked about how the challenges we have refine us, bring us great growth, and should be embraced. I nearly laughed out loud, I do Not embrace this! I fight it with all my might, and try to ignore it, push through the pain and fatigue, pretend it doesn't color every moment of every day.

I have heard this message in different forms for a while, and I guess it's time that I stop apologizing for my situation, and accept, nee, even embrace it. It has certainly made me a more compassionate person, and caused me to allow others to help me, which I'm sure has benefited both the giver and the receiver. The energy I'm using to resist and fight my situation can be better used gaining acceptance, nee even embrace this; and maybe that is the lesson for me- I don't have to do everything. I can support those around me in their efforts rather than pushing to do things myself. I have gotten more honest about what I can and can't do, which is progress toward acceptance. Now it's time to enjoy my life as it is, and stop feeling angry for the things I can't do. Maybe I'll make that my New Year's resolution....

Charging to Christmas

I wish I was charging to Christmas... I'm still feeling weak, but at least I have a voice again. We have most of the gifts here, but I don't have the tree decorated, or any other decorations up yet. I've decided that with Jared, Heather and his parents coming, I better not get too caught up with the prep work and save my energy for the Christmas weekend. I need to remember that it's not about the stuff, it's about celebrating Christ's birth, and enjoying the time with family. I can't wait to spend time together, read about Christ's birth, and all the amazing events that transpired before and after his birth. That's what I need to do this year I guess, really focus on the important part of Christmas, and let go of the unneessary.

It's just that I love the feeling the decorations evoke, the memories of making Christmas past. I'm so mushy, I still have most of the decorations my kids made when they were in elementary school! We still use the ornaments that we made as a family 20 years ago, it all has meaning to me. When they were younger, we made beaded wreaths, candy canes, etc. When Jared was in the hospital before Christmas a couple times, he and I painted some, and crocheted others. The year he had kidney surgery at 14, and was hospitalized for 10 days, actually nearly died, we made more. Painting ceramic angels, santas and such helped distract me from the hours of care at the hospital, and when he started feeling better, he helped me paint. The ornaments are simple, and inexpensive, but they carry years of love and faith with them.

My kids are grown, in their 20's and 30's, but these little decorations hold the memories of wonderful holidays past for me. I expect to give them to each of the kids for their own homes when they're ready. By then, David and I will be going to their homes for Christmas, instead of them coming to ours!

Time Flies

Boy, has time rushed by! We had the Barton's down for Thanksgiving- Gina's family and our very old friends. What a great visit we had! Everyone helped to make it a wonderful weekend together. We had Dakota too, the whole weekend. It's the first full holiday we've had her with us, and she did so well, she only got a little homesick once.

David Barton brought his paraglider outfit, but he didn't make it up onto Mingus to fly. The 'boys' played video games, all the family watched football, we ate, we laughed! Sharry and I solved all the worries of the family and the world- at least in our minds!

By Saturday I was getting pretty sick with a cold, and it just got worse. I'm sure all of my running around getting ready for Thanksgiving, working on the reception plans and just my general pushing myself too hard had something to do with it.... Nah, it was just a cold turned into bronchial infection- nothing to do with my nervous energy!

Anyhow, I hope to visit the Shalimar Country Club this week, hopefully it will be marvelous and I can book it for the reception- one thing checked off the list. I want to find a lovely place for their celebration, and I'm amazed how many places have already been booked! My typical last-minute, spontaneous planning won't work this time, so I'm practicing to be a real Farr; using a list, planning and everything!

Right now I'm watching Eat, Pray, Love. I read the book a couple years ago, and it inspired me to write about my own spiritual journey. My book is languishing in the document section of my computer right now, until I stop avoiding my life and start writing it down.

She's Engaged!!!

So I can finally talk about this, because the ring is actually on Heather's finger. Meet Jared, the love of her life. I can't wait to meet him myself! They are coming for Christmas, and he gets to meet the whole crazy family. I think Heather has properly informed him about us, and since they live all the way across the country, I don't think he cares!!! Just kidding, sorta. It's always a little scary to meet the family of someone you care deeply about, but other than David taking him out shooting, it should be a nice casual week.

Ohio from the Alleghany and Monongahela

I'm back from Pittsburgh! It was a great trip, Heather had a 5 star hotel already booked, since she was there for work. We just changed it to a double queen- it was a fabulous room at the Omni William Penn Hotel, right downtown. It had a sitting room with 2 cushy chairs, a love seat, entertainment center; also had a work desk, which was good, because Heather was working and needed it!

I got to sleep in, watch TV and eat bon-bons! Well, snacks anyhow, if not actually bon-bons. When her classes were over, we went shopping. There's a mall north of Pittsburgh, and we took a taxi there. Our first taxi driver was in shorts, short sleeve shirt and had the AC on, while we were dressed in coats, boots and gloves. He raved on an on about how the Ohio river starts from the Alleghany and Monongahela rivers; technically the Ohio should be called the Alleghany, since it is the strongest river of the two. And... the Ohio dumps into the Mississippi as the strongest river, so actually the Mississippi should be called the Ohio, IF the powers that named them had followed protocol! Really- that took most of the 20 minute trip...

Pittsburgh proper is mostly vertical, which triggers my claustrophobia something fierce. I walked out of the hotel the first time, looked up into the forest of skyscrapers and nearly had a panic attack. I focused on watching the building doors and windows, and didn't look up much after that. There's a reason I live in small towns or in the country- downtowns make me crazy! But it was an interesting place. There was a little 7-11 right downtown that we picked up a couple gallons of water, because I am a water snob. We found a chinese food place not too far away, and enjoyed eating out a few days. We ate lunch at the hotel the 1st day, and paid $15 each! Once was enough, so I started asking for places to eat, and people were very friendly and nice about helping us out.

There were still fall colors there, and it was beautiful! I brought my camera, and when I first took a picture, I realized that I left the camera card in my computer at home, so no pics of this trip. duh!

Sports and rentals

More soccer pictures! There's nothing more fun than watching 4-5 year old's play soccer. One of the Sharks' Mom made the girls matching ponytail holders, so they looked very cool! The kids have all improved a lot since last year, it's amazing to watch their progress.

Mom and I are sitting here watching the morning news. This has been such a busy, crazy month, and it's nice to sit quietly for a little bit. We've been working like mad on the rental, and we're getting close to being done. The painting, tiling and new carpet is complete, now we need to get the new toilets in and finish plumbing the shower and kitchen sink. Whew! I'm mostly supervising everything, but it's still a lot of stress. Hopefully we can get it rented for November.

Mom showed up last Friday. The joke in our family is we never know she's coming until she drives into the driveway. My Mom loves to travel, and isn't held to schedules or plans; when she's ready to travel she just takes off. Her motorhome is loaded for traveling all the time, so it takes little effort to cruise. I love having her visit, she should be here a week or so.

Heather Skydives!

Pie Filling recipe

I received permission from Jenny Evans to print a summary of her marvelous apple pie filling, which is designed to be bottled for future use. See other recipes at her blog- http://www.jennyevansdunham.com/blog/

Sterilize jars and lids, either in the dishwasher or in boiling water bath for 10 minutes. You can leave the heat on low once it has boiled to keep jars warm.
Peel, core and slice 6 quarts of apples. There is an appliance that is simple to use and does all 3 at once. I found one at Ace hardware.
Make the sauce for the filling (recipe below)
Pull jars from water, and pack with apples while they're still hot. Use a knife to adjust the apples in the jar, packing them tightly.
Pour the hot liquid sauce in the jars, using a canning funnel to within 3/4" of the rim.
Swipe around the edges of the jars, and run the knife down the edges to make sure the liquid covers all the apple slices completely, and to remove air bubbles. Shaking the jar slightly can also help in this step.
Wipe rims with a clean damp cloth and tighten lids.
Process jars in either a boiling water bath or steam canner for 20 minutes, longer for high-altitude, up to five minutes more.
Remove jars with tongs and place on a folded towel to cool. Cover them with another towel. The jars should seal within 24 hours. Do not store if they aren't sealed, but any unsealed jars can be used immediately.

Pie Sauce
1-2 cups sugar
1 cup cornstarch
2 tsp ground cinnamon
1/4 tsp ground nutmeg
1 tsp salt
9-11 cups water, depending on thickness of sauce desired
1 tsp lemon juice

In large pot, mix together the sugar, cornstarch, cinnamon, nutmeg, salt and water. Bring to boil, stirring occasionally, until thickened. Boil 1 minute and add lemon juice. Allow to cool slightly before pouring over the apple slices.

The 20 minute processing cooks the apples, and they are ready to be used for apple pie, cobbler or apple crisp. They are also delicious poured over vanilla ice cream!

My My, Applie Pie!

Today was canning day. Gina and I canned 12 jars of apple pie filling; 7 quarts and 5 pints worth. We have a bushel of Granny Smith apples and did just a little less than half. Gina's Mom gave us a great recipe for the pie filling, so we got started about 3 pm. At the same time the ceiling in the front room was being painted, the guys were watching football in the family room and David, Jon and Norm were working on the rental, so it was a busy, rather hectic day. At least things are getting done!

The ceiling is finally painted, the painter came in today and set the baseboard in, patched the walls and sprayed the whole thing in one day. With everything else going on, it's sure nice to have it finished and be able to get the furniture back in the house. Right now it's piled up on the covered front porch, stacked up on top of the couch.

I have to admit we look like a bunch of rednecks- furniture on the porch, dogs running around, chickens scratching in the yard. I have to be careful about the animals going into the front yard, just because I'm trying to coordinate between the chicken's and the dog's time there. I don't dare let them out together- the chickens would be lunch! I usually let the chickens out in the afternoon for a few hours, and the dogs out there in the mornings. The other day as I was putting the dogs back in the back yard, I saw some rustling in the garden, and saw a black chicken picking around the tomatoes. Somehow she'd managed to survive being in the same yard as the dogs for hours without getting killed! I think she hid in the garden while they were out front romping around, but if they'd seen her, well.... I have to double check that all the chickens are back in their yard before I let the dogs into the front again.

Late summer sliding by

Today is beautiful! It's in the 90's here, I sat on the back porch this morning in a comfy recliner and watched the hummingbirds and finches buzzing around. The garden is in decline, but I'm still getting peppers, green beans and cucumbers. There are a couple cantaloupe on the vine, I hope they ripen before it gets cold. The sunflowers have faded, leaving tons of seeds for the birds to forage. They flock to the garden, and then drop into the chicken pen for scraps of corn and other leftovers. The tomatoes are pretty done- although there are a few stragglers in there. I gave up picking fennel seeds- I'm hoping to have a bumper crop of free fennel next year from it as the seeds scatter about. I've let the chickens back into the garden- grasshoppers had taken up residence in the tomatoes, and the best bug killers are those fluffy little hens! I figure if they want to eat old vegies that have fallen under the plants, it's a small price to pay for their efficient hunting skills.

Yesterday we watched Dakota play soccer- it's so fun to watch little kids play! They know they're supposed to follow the ball, but don't always know what to do with it when they get it. She's doing well and having fun, and I love watching her activities.
The past 2 weeks have been spent painting and working at the rental. The kitchen was in need of a new paint job, and the bathrooms have never been painted. They still sported the original paneling. The kitchen had a very 70's wall paper- orange baskets full of flowers and greenery, and took a primer and regular coat to cover them. While it was lovely in the 70's, it is pretty weathered now. We are painting everything with a semi-gloss 'decorator white'. I know it's bland, but it works well in a rental; the new people benefit from the brighter look, and it fits any color scheme they may have. Unless it's all beige- hopefully they're not beige people....

I painted all the cupboard doors from the kitchen and bathrooms, and worked myself right into a cold. It didn't help that my helper Norm came down with it first, and I was picking him up for work. But I know it's mostly from doing too much. My immune system leaves much to be desired. It doesn't seem to matter that I take supplements, vitamins, etc to strengthen it, when I overdo things it kicks my butt.
Now that the painting is done, I turn everything over to the men- there's still toilets to replace, David is building a wall in the master bathroom in order to install a shower. It's a nice room with a garden bathtub, but the lack of a shower in there is a problem, so we're fixing that. Norm will lay the tile, and the carpet layers can come hopefully in 10 days. Man! What a lot of work, and I know we can't rent it for any more than we did before. But, the house is in need of repair, and we're not slumlords, so the work will be done. I'll sure be happy when it's done and the place is rented.

Lords and Ladies (I'm the lady)

There are great truths found in Lord of the Rings. I'm watching the Fellowship of the Ring tonight, actually I've gotten lazy and haven't read the books in a number of years, but I like the movies well enough. I don't like the way Frodo was portrayed in the movie though- he looks like a wimp, which he absolutely wasn't. J.R. Tolkien was a brilliant writer, I'd love to have that kind of vision and talent. The way he created a whole world, the languages, so many different kinds of people and villains- just fabulous! What would it be like to write such a story I wonder?

We've been working hard on the rental; the guys have cleaned up all the mess, stripped out the carpet and old linoleum, leveled floors, cleaned up the yard and mowed it. Tomorrow we start painting the kitchen and bathroom. We're putting linoleum tile in the kitchen and carpet in the front room and bedrooms.

This week I took a class with a friend- it sounds rather 'new age', called 'Resurfacing'. I'm really ready to figure out what to do with the rest of my life, and this class really helped me to sort out the stuff that's keeping me stuck. Fear is a mighty foe- it has kept me frozen in place for some time, and I'm very tired of that. With some careful introspection and excercise, I'm ready to move forward. Writing will be a big part of that- I've realized I probably won't go back into probation, however much I miss it. But I can still think, and write. With examples like Tolkien maybe I can even put something useful and interesting together!

Wicked Labor Day

Well, I was going to blog about what a great weekend we had, and it was. We finally took our recently purchased, used travel trailer out for a test run. We drove up to Mingus Mountain for Labor day weekend, and it was great! There was a fly-out for the local hangliding/paragliding group, and we watched about 20 people launch. It was so cool, the paragliders set out their parachutes very carefully, then with a deft flick of the hand, up pops the chute, a few hops and they are airborn. I got some good pictures of them in the air, and got some good take-off pictures of some of the handgliders. Their take-off is different; several men help them set up on the launch pad, and help hold the fixed-wing craft until the wind is right for take off. Then they literally run off the edge of a cliff, the glider swoops down until it catches enough air to lift it up into the wind current. I like the idea of a few jumps and the parachute lifting up into the air, not the down-drop of the handglider/hanglider. I'm not sure which is the right spelling. Anyhow, it was really cool to watch.

We had a really nice and relaxing weekend, which was good, because today started the crazy. A crew came in today to tear down the ceiling of our front room. The decorative panels on the ceiling had started falling down, the beams were literally dropping off the wall, and it has to be fixed. The contractor tore down the ceiling to the plywood, now we have to wait until the drywall hangers can come in to do their thing. I hope it's sometime this week!

Our renter next door moved out over the weekend, and when we went over today we found a huge mess! Since she couldn't pay August's rent she asked us to use her deposit, which only covered part of it. I guess she decided that since she wouldn't get her deposit back she didn't have to clean it, and left all the furniture she didn't want there for us to dispose of. She also left the family room full of dog hair- really, 3-5 inches high of black dog hair was drifting all over the room. The kitchen is filthy, her son's room hadn't been packed at all, he still had dirty clothes on the floor, his bed unmade and dirty towels on the bathroom floor. The hardest part for me is that we had been paying her gas bill for the past year, as well as the water, sewer and trash. We've tried to help her as much as we could over the past several years and she's mad that we didn't do more. I admit it, my feelings are hurt. It's tempting to say that the more you do for people the more they expect. Now we have to spend this week cleaning up the mess before we can get it ready to rent again. It's not a fancy place, but it's a nice home and I'm ticked off! Anyhow, I'm glad we had a nice quiet weekend, because the next few weeks are going to be a lot of work, and crazy, noisy and dusty at our house. sigh...

Stitching up and figs

Well, the past week has been interesting. I had an email from one of my blog readers, asking if there was any chance I could mail her some figs. She grew up in Texas, but lives in Montana now, and told me she hasn't had fresh figs in many many years! Well, how could I say no? Mailing them is expensive- it was $11 for shipping plus an ice pack to keep them good. But, why not? I only have a few more figs left, so she contacted me at just the right time. It made me feel really good that someone is reading this blog!

The weather has been crazy, cloudy in the morning, which is so unusual for AZ, then we either get some rain or watch it wander off to the east. Either way, the barometer is bouncing up and down, literally crippling me. I've spent so much time in bed the last 2 weeks, it's embarrassing. I have several sewing projects going- I'm putting french seams on the couch cover I made so that it's reversible; there is an adorable dress for my granddaughter that is nearly done. Then I need to make baby bibs and burp cloths, but until I can sit for any length of time, it's all on hold.

We are finally getting the front room ceiling fixed. For the past several years, the beams in the cathedral ceiling have been drooping, whether from the moisture or just because they didn't nail them into 2X4's in the roof, I don't know. But it's becoming really obvious and a little dangerous, we don't want them coming down on someones head. I have to box up all the china, kachinas and everything else in the room. Sigh...

Late summer sizzle

I'm nearly finished with "The First American", the bio on Benjamen Franklin. He's solved the French and British negotiations, created agreements with both countries for the United States of America, flirted with most of the women of note in both of those countries, and at 79-80, he amazingly survived the long voyage from France back to Philadelphia, even though he had been suffering terribly from gout and kidney stones, as well as various aches and pains of advanced age. He barely got off the boat before the Pennsylvanians elected him President of their fair state. He handled the contentious factions of the politicos with amazing, and typical, aplomb, all the while building onto his own home and 5 new homes on property he owned, to use as rentals and improve the legacy he left his progeny.

Hmmm, and I whine about being crippled and feeling old at 55. Shame on me! Although having 2 heart surgeries and gall bladder surgery 3 years ago and dealing with ongoing fibromyalgia does give me a reason to feel gimpy. I gotta keep focused on the things I can do... that's the goal. I picked a couple more pounds of figs this morning, and we found someone to mow down the weeds burying the property! It looks so much better today. We have a nice crop of tomatoes coming off too, along with peppers. The cucumbers are blooming like crazy, but only one big enough to pick. It's too hot to can anything, so either drying or freezing will do for now, at least what's left that we don't eat. I made some awesome fresh salsa yesterday, and sent tomatoes and figs with the kids, so we'll see what's left to play with.

Reflections

As I read about Benjamen Franklin, it helps me realize what a precious document our founding fathers designed. They did so at great risk to their lives; the British saw them as scum-bag traitors that should face the gallows. Even Franklin, who was renowned throughout England, Europe and America, faced Lords, Earls and Parliament that hated him and what he stood for- America's free trade, self-representation and equal rights as British citizens. When he realized how vitriolic they were, and determined to abase the Americans, to subdue them as they had the Irish, he threw his full force behind creating a Republic. His talents were formidable, he used all the contacts he had made in Europe over the past 30 years of his life to gain alliances that would allow America to survive.

Against all odds we as a country faced the most fearsome military and naval force in the world- and won. You can't tell me it was accidental. The men involved in the Continental congress were willing to pray about their decisions, pray for guidance, and acknowledge God in their success. Not all of them were church-going men, including Franklin, but as I read his writings, it's clear that he read the scriptures and he spoke often of prayer. I hope we can do the same- let's pray for our families, and pray for our country. We are on the verge of financial calamity, people are polarized against one another, and we are at war in far countries. Let's pray for our military, pray for our leaders and look forward to better times.

Salsa!

It's late summer, and the harvest is building. Yesterday we picked several pounds of figs. I have a Black Turkey Fig, it's about 8 years old, and this year it's absolutely full of figs. I covered it with netting to keep the birds from taking everything. I don't mind sharing a few with them, but they've been taking every ripe fig!

There were enough tomatoes last week to make salsa. Well, I have to admit that I used two gallon bags of frozen tomatoes from last fall. I had a great harvest last summer, but also my son's wedding, the illness, death and memorial for my Mother-in-law and a whole lot of other things that kept me from canning. So I took the frozen ones, added fresh tomatoes and peppers from the garden, and made a nice batch of salsa. I ended up with 8 pints of salsa to can for the winter. It isn't much, and cooking salsa down takes most of the day. But it's still satisfying to know I have more homemade sauce ready, and can enjoy it all winter long.

The sunflowers are looking so wonderful! I'll post some more pics, I just have really enjoyed them in the garden. I have to admit that typically I only plant vegetables, trying to get as much yield out of the garden as possible. But last year and this one I added easy-growing flowers, like sunflowers. One of them is over 12 feet tall, with a huge flower that is now turning into a seed machine. The rest are smaller, but with lots of flowers on each stalk. They've pollinized each other, so I have one that is a hybrid from the maroon and a yellow- it has the most beautiful flowers! they are maroon at the center, turning to orange and then a blazing yellow on the outer edges of the petals. Fabulous! I hope to save some of the seeds, maybe I can get more that color next year. No guarantee though, it may have bred with the yellows this year, and all the flowers will be yellow next year, who knows.

Sun again

We've had 3 weeks of cloudy, humid, rainy weather. In Arizona, that's really a good thing, but frankly, I'm a desert rat and a few days at a time is plenty. Normal for us is clear in the morning, heat building up to 100-110 degrees, growing humidity to the point of insanity, then comes the cloudburst. Pelting rain, either for a few minutes to an hour, that's typical Arizona monsoon weather. This one is more like a winter storm, it's been cloudy, no sun for days, and drizzling, depressing rain every day for 2 weeks. Isn't that New England summers? Anyhow, we need the moisture, so I feel a little guilty for complaining, but I'm really done with that crap! Today was more typical- nice cool morning, heat, now the clouds are piling up over Mingus Mountain, waiting to attack.

I took pictures of the sunflowers, they are a little battered from all the rain, but still pretty. The bees were all over them, and I tried to take a picture of a big black bumble bee, but it was too fuzzy to print, darn it. The rain has been great for the green beans and cucumbers especially, they are growing like crazy. The poor tomatoes have had a worse time. We didn't get them into cages, so I put straw under them, but with so much rain and warm muggy weather, some of them are moldy. They are ripening up nicely though, I want to make more salsa tomorrow. The peppers are doing great, we picked our first bells yesterday. Pretty late, but they taste really good.

I'm still reading the biography on Benjamen Franklin, what a fascinating guy! I tend to read the best of his colloquialisms when I'm laying down, and too lazy to get up and write them down, so I haven't shared them yet. All in all a good week!

Salsa for dinner, homemade lotion

It's still cloudy, no rain yet today though. Just enough change in barometer to kick my b__t. I picked tomatoes and peppers from the garden, and combined with some store bought ingredients made some marvelous salsa! I don't like really hot salsa, but nice and spicy is good. Here's my recipe:

1/2 lb. tomatoes, roma's preferably
3-4 teaspoons chile mix
2 poblano peppers
2 tsp. salt
2-4 New Mexico peppers
2 tsp black pepper
1-2 Bell peppers
2 tsp onion salt or powder
2 onions
2-3 cloves garlic
1 bunch cilantro
2 stalks celery

Blend garlic and onions in a food processor until chopped but not pureed. Move into large bowl. Remove veins and seeds from all peppers, cut into large pieces, then chop in food processor with celery, add to bowl. Cut and seed tomatoes, chop in processor along with cilantro. Add tomatoes to the bowl, blend all vegetables together while adding spices. You can add more or less spices and hot peppers to taste. I like to serve this fresh, but you can cook it over the stove if you choose.
Just be aware, that I rarely use a formal recipe and this is a taste-as-you-go project.

Julie, her mom Barb and I made olive oil, lavender and oatmeal soap last Wednesday. Julie's been wanting to learn how to make soap, so they came over for the day. We made 18 pounds of soap! It's more time consuming than difficult, but it's so much easier when I have help with the process. While we were waiting for it too cool and thicken, we also made lotion with coconut, shea, cocoa butters, almond oil and glycerin. It turned out really good! It's thinner than I planned; I thought it would be more like body butter, but it's really yummy and I put some in a lotion bottle with pump and it worked great.

Body Cream

7 ozs. Shea butter
3 ozs. Cocoa butter
6 ozs. Almond oil
7 ozs. Coconut butter
5 tsp. grated Beeswax
6 ozs. Vegetable glycerin
21 ozs. distilled water
1 tsp Cornstarch
40 grams Stearic Acid
1/4 oz. mint or lavender essential oil- or scent of your choice

Have 3 separate mixing containers, 2 that are microwave safe. In the larger container, #1, add the shea butter, cocoa butter, coconut oil, stearic acid and almond oil. Melt them using 1 minute increments, stirring between minutes. Stir until everything is melted, including the granules of stearic acid. In a small separate bowl melt the beeswax in 1 minute increments. Once melted, quickly blend into the other oils. In container #3 blend distilled water, corn starch and glycerin, then slowly blend everything into the deepest container, using stick blender or regular mixer. Make sure the container has deep sides and wear an apron! It helps to set the container in a bowl 1/2 full of ice, and blend constantly until it is blended and thickened. Pour into bottles or jars, allow to set.

The stearic acid is actually a palm vegetable product, it isn't a chemical, so this whole lotion is chemical-free lotion that is just yummy. I use it on my face as well as a body lotion.

Monsoon madness

The old adage "careful what you wish for" comes into play today. The rain clouds crawled down Mingus mountain today, pushing inexorably toward us. Behind them was a solid black sheet, the mountains were invisible behind the mayhem heading our way. Suddenly the winds burst upon the yard; trash cans blew apart, spewing their recycling contents across the driveway. The rain pushed hard from the south, hitting the windows in our bedroom with such force that it was raining inside! The windows are old- from the 1970's, but still, the rain blew in from the top of the windows, as well as the sides and the middle, where the two windows meet.

As I looked out the onto the back porch, there was nearly a solid sheet of water blowing wildly; things were blowing up into the air, but also the rain was pushing into the porch under the eaves as if there was no roof at all. So- our prayers have been answered, we are receiving lots of rain from the summer monsoons. It's not surprising that some of them come with great force and little regard for my comfy home and yard. At least the rains are coming, and with any luck this terrible drought is finally easing!

HOT HOT HOT!!

I know, I live in Arizona- heat in the summer is a given. But blast, it's been 105 or higher, with 45% humidity or higher!!!! Oh, did I mention we don't have AC? Yea, just a really good Swamp Cooler, but in this humidity and heat, it's functionality sucks. Despite most Interior Decorators disgust with the modern ceiling fan, they are very functional and make life bearable- so luckily I have 3 of them, plus fans in almost every other room in the house.

We are surviving, but these are the days I long for an air conditioned office again! Most of the time I enjoy my job-free existence. I won't say work-free, because there are always the requirements of hearth and home, plus hubby, chickens, dogs and gardens. At least I can manage the time and energy of household stuff. Adding a 40 hour work week to that would kill me, I'm afraid. Maybe literally-who knows?

I only spend time in the garden in the early morning, which leaves me time to sew a bit. I'm posting pictures of the couch cover and baby blanket I finished. Given the weather, I am reading a lot- plenty of time that I can't move much allows for more reading. Right now it's 'The First American- the Life and Times of Benjamen Franklin' by HW Brands. It's a really good biography, well researched and pretty easy to read. What an amazing man Franklin was! This bio is honest about his shortcomings as well as his achievements, which presents a much more human viewpoint than we got in school. Granted, in the 60' and 70's history was pretty 'glossy', and human foibles were ignored in great men, witness Jack Kennedy's indiscretions.... Anyhow, it was published in 2000, but I was working and not reading much then, so it's new to me!

Sizzlin' Chickens

Today is an update of the urban farm we live in. Hopefully the pictures of my garden and chickens will load today! My little garden is busy growing beautiful sunflowers, fennel, green beans- both standard bush and some interesting Hopi beans. The Hopis have much smaller leaves, almost look like a pretty flower bush- with tiny blue/purple flowers. They are setting beans on now, small but firm. I can't wait to try them as green beans, and they can also be dried for later. fun!

The tomatoes and peppers are rocking- I'm picking mild peppers now, and eagerly watching the tomatoes for the least sign of red in there. I sprayed fish emulsion on everything last week, and now the cantaloupe, watermelons and cucumbers are looking much stronger. We've eaten beets and radishes for a while, and the fennel seeds look ready to pick. I left the fennel from last year in the ground, and this year they are setting seeds like crazy! Fennel is good for stomach distress, so I plan to save the seeds for more plantings, and also for my food storage.

The chickens are doing a good job of keeping the bugs down, but I can't let them in the garden to pick bugs- they'll eat all the good stuff too! They love beet greens, swiss chard and beans. I let them out daily, and they catch everything that wanders outside of the fence- at least I hope so.

Even though fibromyalgia slows me down and keeps me from doing many of the things I enjoy, I refuse to allow it to suck the life out of me. I know many people are dealing with much more serious health issues, and my heart goes out to them. Mine isn't cancer, I'm not fighting for my physical life exactly- fibro won't kill me, but it certainly colors everything I do. The choice really, is how to balance my energy to the best advantage. Sometimes I blow it all on a big project, and then I'm in bed for days. Most of the time I carefully consider the things I want to do, then plan how much to do per day so as not to 'hit the wall'. Most of the past 20 years I've fought it, pushing through the pain and fatigue, determined not to be affected by it's symptoms. My wise friends keep telling me to stop fighting, find acceptance and embrace who I am now, not wish I was still the person of 20 years ago. Honestly, that is much more difficult for me, but I'm adjusting my perception of myself, and I practice acceptance every day. I am always, always grateful for the blessings in my life- especially my family and friends, but also for the health I have, our great country, my home and community. I'm grateful for the little things, listening to the birds sing in the mornings, the flowers, the sunsets. Life is good, albeit painful! The pain just reminds me that I'm still here, and I'm happy to get up every day.

Simmering Summer

We've had a great week! Heather flew in 6/26, and we had lots of fun that weekend. All the kids were here for a BBQ on Sunday, along with Megann, Taylor, and our friends Peter and Kathy, from Florida. Peter makes the most amazing Hungarian marinated meats! Monday Heather and I went to Phoenix for a couple days- hotter than Hadies, but we stayed at the Papago Inn and Resort, which is a neat little hotel. It was built in the 60's, I think, and still has a very retro feel. The courtyard is so lovely, full of vines, trees, an aviary and a pool. The staff is really friendly and the beds were fantastic! It was only $50 a night, and so worth the price.

We celebrated Heather's birthday this week, then had another get-together on the 4th. Just the kids, and we were able to watch the fireworks from our front yard. I am so grateful to live in this wonderful country! God Bless America, and the men and women that serve and protect us.

I was able to attend the mini-reunion of our high school class, it was great fun. There were about 15 of us there plus a few family members. We met at Goldwater Lake, and spent a great 3-4 hours just catching up and hanging out. Julie Hutchins Kyer and I went up together, then she took me for a ride on her new scooter! We went for a spin around the Prescott plaza- during the 4th of July it's full of people, artwork, crafts and all kinds of booths. I didn't have time to actually wander the plaza, but it was fun to be downtown for a few minutes and enjoy the energy.

Such a Slacker!!

Boy, I've been a bit of a slacker lately, at least in writing the blog. I went to Mom's for a week, took her to the doctor to get her thyroid meds back in sync and just visit a little. She's feeling a little better, but still had a bit of the cough she's had for a couple months. It was getting hot in Maricopa, and the plan was for her to go to St Johns for the summer. I was hoping she'd wait for Debbie to come down on Wednesday, but the heat was motivation to leave earlier, so by the time I left on Saturday she thought she'd leave Monday. Then, on Sunday morning, she got stung by a scorpion, in bed! Several times, 2-3 times on the index finger she was using to flick away whatever was crawling, and twice more on the shoulder. Talk about freaky! She's OK, but was in a lot of pain for several days, with plenty of nausea to make things worse. Hap checked on her Sunday evening, and Debbie and Kim left Monday evening to get her. They drove the motorhome up to St John's for her, so now she's out of the heat. She's doing fine now, thank heavens.

Last week the weather changed, and I couldn't move for most of it. Between the bucking barometer and being tired from the trip- I was flat on my back for days. Oh well, like Annie says- Tomorrow, tomorrow, there's always tomorrow!

Jared's been working for David, and adjusting to the heat. He seems to enjoy the work and spending time with Nic and David. Heather is coming into town the end of June, can't wait to have the family together for a while!

Chillin'

Gina is a big basketball fan, and of course Nic, Jared and David are happy to join in. I'm watching too, more or less. The Suns are a fighting team, and it's been fun to watch them in the playoffs. Brutal at times, Steve Nash keeps getting beat up, but just keeps playing hard and winning games. Tonight we're watching Boston beat Orlando. Oh well,there's really not much else on Friday nights.....

This week has been great, having Jared home. He's helped me in the garden, and gone on several jobs with David and Nic. His little dog Rocky is settling in with Cara, and Chica is gradually getting used to the newcomer. She had a seizure yesterday though, but that's not surprising. She tends to have seizures when a new dog first comes around, then once she gets used to them she's fine.

The wind has been awful! There have already been several fires along I-17 freeway, and with no rain and lots of wind, I expect it to get worse. The flowers were beautiful this spring though, and I'm so glad we had lots of rain last winter. All in all, life is good right now.

Thank you Veterans for your service to our country, and God Bless America!

Bliss

We are all home! I flew in last Wednesday, spent the night in Phoenix and had lunch with my old friend Emma Jo. I haven't seen her in some time, so that was really great. I stopped by St. Francis cemetery and had them help me find my great-grandfather William Pike's grave. We finally found it, but there is no headstone. That makes me sad, but now that I know where he is, I plan to ask my sibs and cousins to help change that, and put a headstone there. He's been invisible for 80 years, it's time to honor his memory a little.

David and Jared drove cross country with a U-haul trailer and a puppy, but they had a really good trip. They were dodging tornadoes throughout the midwest, but the Lord was with them and they had no problems... Until they hit the Arizona border on Sunday, and nearly got blown off the road by the wind. The freeway was shut down between Winslow and Flagstaff, but they were able to take highway 87 south and come in from Camp Verde, so at least they didn't get stuck. Good thing, because I-40 was closed down from 10:30 am to 7 pm~

Right now we are watching the Suns play LA, hopefully they'll win. Nic, Gina and Jared are all hanging out watching the game with us, sheer bliss for a mom. The only one missing is Heather. She's lonesome out in NH all by herself, but she loves her job and it's just not time for her to leave there yet.

Timing is everything

Well, this is the last day in Concord. The U-haul is packed, all my bags are packed and I even have only 3 oz. bottles, neatly stuffed in a plastic bag for inspection at the airport. We've had such a great visit, and I hate to leave. Time flies so fast when we're on vacation.

Saturday we left by 9 am in order to get parking and good seats at the graduation. It started at 11, and of course had all the pomp and ceremony that a proper graduation ceremony requires. The current Secretary of the Navy spoke, and was actually pretty interesting. The whole thing was long, but there were a lot of graduates, so it's to be expected. Afterward we went to eat at Barley's, a great restaurant in Concord.

Sunday we went to Portsmith, NH and Ogunquit, Maine. The weather was beautiful, with a nice little breeze. We got off the main street in Portsmith, and found an old section of town named Strawberry Banke. Many of the houses were built in the late 1700's, including the home of Daniel Webster, which is still a private home. Many of the homes are open to the public, but not all. It was awesome! We wanted to get to Maine before dark, so we didn't stay long, but Heather and I went back on Monday and spent hours there.

Ogunquit and Perkins Cove have a gorgeous walkway along the Atlantic ocean, which travels several miles. We didn't go that far, but we did go far enough to take some great pictures. The ocean was so blue! I'm so glad David could go this time, it was almost perfect. If Nic, Gina and Dakota were there the picture would be complete.

Tomorrow there is a 100% chance of rain, tears from heaven I'm sure. Jared is adjusting to the idea of moving back to AZ, but the weather reflects the mood as we all separate. I can't wait for the family to be all together again.

Concord New Hampshire

Well, we made it across country yesterday! The flight was good, Southwest has a nonstop from Phx now, about 4 1/2 hours all the way across the country. It's a 3 hour time difference, and I'm fried.

David and Jared were up early, down to the U-Haul place to set up a trailer. They're putting a hitch on Jared's car tomorrow- we drop it off before going to Heather's graduation. She has to be there before 10:00 am to line up, and we're all going together. It's in Henniker, NH which is about 20 miles from Concord. I'm so proud of her, she has a 3.9 GPA, in a Master's program! That's the Farr in her for sure, my GPA was never that good.

Today I slept in, then they picked me up about 11 NH time, which was 8 our time. Jet lag is kicking my rear, but hopefully I'll adjust quickly. We went into Concord today, stopped by Heather's office and wandered around the downtown a little. We had to get groceries and a chair pad for me to sit on tomorrow- as we'll be on bleachers for the ceremony. There is a beautiful square around the State Capitol here, with big statues of Daniel Webster and President Pierce. Evidently they are both native sons of New Hampshire, who knew? probably my nieces and nephews still in school :).

Attitude of Gratitude

So this week is Mother's day. It's also Gina's birthday, a couple days ago, and Jared's birthday tomorrow. That brings me to reflect on what a wonderful family I have. Mom is still here, and I love to spend time with her. Many of my friends have lost their Mom's, so I realize how fortunate we are to still have her here and active. The kids have grown into amazing adults, and we have gained a beautiful daughter. Heather's pretty happy to not be the only girl!

Thank you to my family, the immediate, the extended, the adopted, I love you all and feel so grateful to have each of you in my life. Thank you to my friends, for all your love and support, laughter and joy. Every person has been brought into my life for a reason, and it has been so much fun!

Springtime Weddings

What a fun week! My cousin Kathleen has been in town all week- one of her sons got married May 1 in AZ. She now has 2 kids living in AZ, and I keep trying to convince her and Kurt to move back. We grew up really close, her mom and my dad were the only children in their family, and we spent much of the summers at one another's homes. We also spent most holidays together at our Balmes Grandparents. In 1978 the whole Goodman clan packed up and moved to Missouri, and we haven't seen them very often since then.

They stayed at the Sedona Pines Resort, where the groom works. Kurt and Kathleen had a lovely little cabin there for the whole week, while their kids, spouses and grandkids all stayed with their son Jared, who lives nearby. The cabin had a refrigerator, microwave and full kitchen, so they felt right at home.

I was able to visit them at Jared's for several hours one evening, and they came over for a couple hours on Thursday after Mom got here. Saturday was really busy for us- David was setting up coolers all morning, while Mom and I worked really hard- we got a mani and pedicure!

My first wedding reception that day started at 2, here in town. A good friend's son got married; He is currently in the Navy and is home for just a few weeks. Jacob was in my Sunday School class in his teens, but boy has he grown up! He was married in his 'dress blues', and cut quite a dashing figure.

The second reception was for my cousins son Logan. They were married in the Mesa Arizona temple, but the reception was in Flagstaff. We took Mom up with us, and it was a big ole party! Logan's wife Alicia is Navajo, and all her extended family came to support them. There was a wonderful meal, provided by the Radisson Hotel, where her mother has worked for years. All but one of Kathleen's 7 kids were there, and it was fun to see them as adults. I was out in MO in 1993, but they were all just little kids back then. Now they're all grown up, working and most have kids of their own. I will really miss them when they leave tomorrow!

Weekend wanderings

We went to Phoenix Saturday, David had a couple things he needed to do. We met Jon, Kathy and her son at Rei, a sporting goods store. Wyatt found the craziest 'shoes'! They are like latex toe socks, really. They have a good sole, but are more of a slipon footie, and fit like a glove instead of a shoe. He got the camo-colored ones, they are pretty wild. Good for running barefoot, but with a sole.

We had lunch there, then went to Costco to pick up a few things. That's where I gave out, and my hip froze up pretty bad, so we left. We went to Trisha's to say hello and drop off a couple things. We had a nice visit, then went to Maricopa and spent the night at my sisters. Sunday morning we went to Mom's, she's doing well. While looking at her garden, she gave us a bunch of fresh vegies and some strawberry plants. We were there to pick up chickens though, and we soon got to that task.

She doesn't plan to be home much this summer, it gets too hot there, and so I talked her into giving me some of her chickens. She had 9, with no-one to eat all those eggs, so I took 6 of them, leaving her 3 hens and a rooster. I plan to give a couple to Jenny, and then I'll have 9 hens and a rooster, which should give me enough to sell eggs every week. I know, I know "Elaine and her chickens!" But I enjoy them and they are sure keeping the bugs down around my house.

We were using the GPS on the way home, trying to find a JoAnn's store before leaving the city. The GPS kept telling us to turn off the freeway at every exit, but didn't tell us why until we hit the heavy traffic! The freeway was being paved or something, and 4 lanes were crammed down to 1. It was a massive parking lot! We were finally able to get off at Pinnacle Peak, and took a side road up to New River. I guess there's no good time to do road work in the Valley, and the weekend makes more sense than during the work week, but next time I think we'll listen to the GPS! If it had said- Traffic ahead, earlier, so we knew why it was taking us off the freeway, that would have helped, but oh well.

Down Week

Well, we had such a good time with the Crebas', It was hard to say goodbye. We also got to see Dakota two Saturdays in a row, which was great! I finally posted the pictures from Honanki Ruins in a slide show, I hope you enjoy them.

With all the excitement, I was of course sick the next week, so this past week has been spent getting over a sinus infection, cold, whatever. Up and down all week, but the weather was beautiful and I bought some tomatoes, peppers and flowers. Hopefully we can get them into the garden this week. David has rototilled it to perfection, the water system is back in place, and I can't wait to get things growing.

My birthday was wonderful, Dakota came over for a little dinner and party that Nic and Gina did for us. It's hard to believe I'm 55, some days I feel younger, some days feel much older. :)

Easter and Honanki

We picked up Marcel and Fran, our dear friends from Alberta, Canada, on Friday. They flew down for the week, and luckily the weather has cooperated nicely. Surprisingly, it has been pretty warm for them the last week, even though they can hit -50 degrees in the winter. Marcel reports they have had much less snow than usual too... I'm guessing the same systems that brought us a wet winter dipped low and missed them. Well, we're in a terrible drought, and need the moisture more. That's my story, though I sure hope they get a good amount of rain this summer.

Saturday we slept in, then Dakota, Nic and Gina came over @ 10, and we decorated eggs, hid them and had a lovely time. After they left we went to Honanki ruins, between here and Sedona. They are off on a dirt road, and although we saw a couple Pink Jeep tours there, it was pretty uncrowded. There was a couple selling Native American jewelry, some of it made by the lady, which was really nice.

Honanki ruins is an easy walk from the parking area, but it does require a Sedona Red Rock parking pass. It's a smaller ruin, but you can walk right up to the walls, and there are a few petroglyphs on the rock cliffs above the ruins. If you can ignore the graffiti around it, they are pretty cool. I guess the petroglyphs can be considered graffiti too, but come on, have a little respect!

The rock cliffs soar upwards for over a 100 feet above the ruins, it's an absolutely beautiful setting. I highly recommend it. Honanki is about 20 minutes from Cottonwood and the same from Sedona, and is a National Park setting.

Sunday was a beautiful Easter day, and we lounged around, watched General Conference and had a big meal- ham, potato salad, gelatin salad, lots of deviled eggs. Nic has been making a jalapeno deviled egg, and boy are they good! Megan and Taylor came over, bringing a marvelous broccoli salad. Gina made most of the meal here. After our little hike Saturday, I couldn't move, so she and Nic made most of the dinner, including Tres Leches cake. Yummy!

Ruined Writing

Well, Farmtown has ruined my writing. Really! Instead of writing in this blog, or my manuscript, or journal, I play farm town, because it's so rewarding. Useless- totally useless, time waster. But, I get to have cows and goats! and I can raise crops without worrying about water- for an Arizonan that is huge. I'm not working in Ancestry either. Hmmm it seems to appeal to an obsessive part of my psyche.

You know, if Farm town had been around a few years ago, we may not have Twilight. Stephanie may have been so busy with the kids and Farmtown that she would have ignored the dream about a vampire, and whoosh, all that vision and emotion- worked right into a little farm.....

Snow on the Hills

Well, here we are at the end of March, 2010. That seems like an accomplishment, for some reason. As I look out into the back yard, Mingus Mountain is still sprinkled with snow, even though the temperature here has been in the 70's. By the way, that's exactly the way I like snow- in the view, up in the mountains!

I finally finished the book "John Adams" by David McCullough. It is long and detailed, but fascinating. The steadiness he showed, with passion, is incredible. It really is a peek into the lives of amazing, brave and brilliant minds, including Adams, his wife Abigail, son John Quincy, Thomas Jefferson and Alexander Hamilton. Much better than my high school history class, that's for sure.

The weeds are getting knee high in the back- we bought a weed-eater yesterday to remedy the problem, but didn't get out there yet to tackle them. I put the chickens in the front yard every day, and they are doing what they can to eat the weeds and bugs there, but I can't put them in the back with the dogs! The eggs, by the way, are delicious! They are laying 4-5 daily, enough to sell a few to friends.

We got the roof fixed, thank heavens. We probably don't need to worry about leaks for a while, the rains have really slacked off, but at least it's done. Home ownership is great, but there's always so much to do...

Botanical Garden

Last week Julie and I spent time at the Gardens. It was my first time down there, and I wanted to go while the weather was good and the flowers were blooming. Julie was willing to drive, and we took it nice and slow and had a great day. There is a little outdoor grill in the garden, and we had lunch there, with the quail and ground squirrels.

The Desert Botanical Garden in Phx is a lovely oasis right in the city. There are some amazing sculptures there, I've taken some pics, I hope you can see them pretty well. The sun was shining, and life was so good! I took my cane, which came in handy, but in general had few problems. There is an Apache hut replica, a Tohono' Odom one, and a Spanish garden too, all of which were very interesting.

We stayed at a hotel overnight, had a nice soak in the hot tub and met a family vacationing from Iowa. I'm afraid they got caught in a terrible storm on the way home! Friday we went to the temple, and I was able to donate one of my books to the Family History Library in Mesa. OK, I kinda forced it on them, but they seemed happy to have it.

Organized Chaos

Well, with a lot of help, we were able to reorganize, recycle and toss a lot of stuff last weekend. Mom Farr, Nic and Best by Farr are using the same garage for storage, and it was getting pretty deep and dirty over there. Adele and Rich came down for the express purpose of wading through Mom Farr's estate, and it was amazingly successful. We waded through boxes and boxes of treasures, sent a trailer load of items to local charities' thrift stores, bagged up a lot of trash and organized everything else for further review.

Dear Farr Grandkids- please look at the quilts and furniture in pics on this blog or on http://picasaweb.google.com/elnabelms/FarrEstatePics#
and email David or Adele of the items you're interested in. David's email is dfarr73@gmail.com and Adele's is mommadorsey@gmail.com. Each item is numbered, so you can refer to it by item or by description. If by chance two people want the same thing, we'll flip a coin, or something similar, to decide. When you contact them with a request, we will tag it for you, but please make arrangements to pick up your items by the end of September, 2010, or for those that live too far away, convince your parents to help! We'd like to see the kids come by and take a look- there are several tables of items you may want as a momento of Grandpa and Grandma Farr. There are enough quilts and afghans for each grandchild, the furniture is a little more limited, but what is available is shown on the website. If you're not interested in anything, please email David or Adele to let them know, so we are clear about your wishes.

Please share this with your siblings that may not get a message, We want everyone to have a chance to have something of Grandma and Grandpa's estate. I like the handmade things to remember them by, and thought you might too.

When will the Sun Shine???

I'm harvesting romaine lettuce, broccoli and eggs. I want to plant some vegie seeds but I just don't have the energy right now, so that will have to wait. The good news is that we've had lots of rain, maybe even enough to ease the terrible drought in AZ. The bad news is that it totally cripples me, so the past few weeks have been pretty rugged. My friend Debbie is willing to walk with me, so we go around the block, slowly, but at least I'm getting a little exercise. Then she heads out to walk another 5-6 miles! Only in my dreams.....

I did trim the roses in the back yard yesterday, at least the miniatures. Hopefully I didn't kill them; but I cut them back pretty severely. They needed it, I hadn't pruned them well for a couple years.

We are dog-sitting Dean this week for my niece Megann. He is such a sweet, gentle dog. Cara is happy to have someone to play with, but she plays a little rough and he gets scared....

So is it wrong not to cook? I can't seem to get motivated to cook dinner lately. Eating is lovely, I like to eat, but it's just that I have no motivation to cook. What we need is someone to cook for us! And they could make wheat free pasta with a marvelous cream sauce, and asparagus. Anyone out there interested in the job? Doesn't pay much, but you'll have my deepest gratitude.... Well, time to get off to bed, and tomorrow I have to make dinner, the leftovers are gone, there's nothing left to do but cook. blast. Usually I love to cook, but there are those days, or weeks, that it just isn't fun, and I can't think of anything to make. blah!

Grand Canyon visit

Well, what a beautiful day! Not in my normal sense, which is nice and warm, but how can you argue with the beauty of the canyon. It was cloudy and rainy when we left, and I knew this little trip would cost me physically, but we needed a getaway, so off we went. Chris, David's business partner, had never been to the canyon, so we took him and Rachel up for a day trip.

I had never been there when it has been so snowy and foggy, so we couldn't see the bottom of the abyss, but it was still so amazing. We spent more time indoors, and went to the Hopi House, designed by a woman in the 1920's, I think. It's based on a traditional Hopi building, and is now used for a store that displays and sells Native American crafts. We also went to Verkamps, which is a mini-museum and store. Both are some of the older buildings there, and I hadn't been in them since high school. El Tovar lodge is still gorgeous, I'd love to stay there sometime. Less expensive in the winter, so maybe next year. I do better if I have a chance to lay down during the day, so that will be my excuse.

We had lunch there, and tried to see Julie Hutchin's mural at the Shrine of the Ages building, but it was locked. The nice thing about going this time of year is how uncrowded it was. There were a couple buses there, but not dozens, like usual in the summer. With the fog and spaciousness, it felt quite cozy. The road was pretty snowy on the way back, and we passed a nasty 3-4 car accident on the freeway outside of Flagstaff, but we reached home safely.

I haven't been able to walk much since we got home, but it was worth the down time, just to see the canyon in winter.

Birthday party

Ok, on to something less depressing and much more exciting. Dakota turned 5!!! I can't believe she will start school this fall. We had a little birthday party here on Saturday evening- it was her 2nd for the day. Her Mom had a party at the park, then brought her over here. I was worried that she'd be worn out and tired, but with a half hour break before people came, she bounced right back and we all had a really good time. She spent that night with Nic and Gina, and they had a great weekend. My camera was pretty fuzzy, so I think it was on the wrong settings, but there are still some pretty good pictures.

In search of the past

I went to Phoenix on Tuesday, determined to find more information about my great grandfather William Pike. He is my Grandma Balmes' father, and I know very little about him, but he's been waking me up at night with a sense of urgency to learn more. William married when he was 33. He married a young Irish woman that had come to America in her teens, and worked as a house servant for several years. They had 7 children, the oldest is my Grandma, the youngest were twins born in October 1918. By the end of that month, William had lost his wife and 3 children to the terrible influenza, and one child a few years earlier. He was left with 3 children to raise alone.

Sometime before 1920 he was badly injured in a work accident which crushed his chest and left him unconscious for days. No one knew his children were locked in their apartment, running out of food, waiting for Daddy to come home. When he finally gained consciousness, his first thoughts were for his children, and someone went to help them. He had been a successful Ironworker before the accident, but couldn't return to construction work. I believe the doctor's suggested he move to AZ for his health, and he came, leaving the children in New Jersey in an orphanage until he could get settled.

He started selling things in his front yard,first a tent, then other items, until he built a steady 2nd hand business. Marie married Hap Balmes, Bina went to work as a clerk, and his only living son Bill attended school. I don't know if any of them graduated from high school, Marie went to work shortly after moving to AZ, not liking school here. William died 8 years later, in 1930. I went looking for his grave on Tuesday. I found the cemetery with no problem, thanks to a handy GPS, love that! I walked all around the area that they showed me on the map, to no avail. Maybe his headstone sank, I was told the ground was 'unstable' in that area. I think that he doesn't have a headstone, the kids were young, the depression had hit, and there just wasn't enough money. I know my heart ached for him a little, buried there all alone, his wife and 4 children buried back east, his kids scattered between California and Arizona.

What am I supposed to find? I looked for a probate or tax record, there was none, so he probably didn't own his home. I found him in 3 city directories in Phoenix, and drove by the addresses. They were all gone- either torn down to make way for high rises or, in one address, a vacant lot/parking area. Nevertheless, I feel impelled to keep looking, to find more about his life, to preserve his story. He was tough, a survivor, and a protective, loving father. He deserves to be remembered.

Rest in Peace Kyle

I found out this evening that Kyle, who was a young, enthusiastic probation officer in Glenwood Springs in 1990's, died in January. He was 39, with two young children. Kyle was recognized as Probation officer of the year in 2004; he loved his work and really made a difference in people's lives- his defendants, coworkers, friends and family. The sadness I feel right now is huge, I can't imagine how hard it is for his parents. I keep thinking about watching him grow and develop as a PO, and I admired his dedication and zeal. Probation is a tough job, you often see the same people come through the system over and over, and wonder if they'll ever get their life together. We become jaded, hardened and cynical- it's a survival skill really. But Kyle worked hard to help defendant's overcome the problems they were having, and believed in a person's ability to change their life. I haven't seen him in years, but he was the type of person that leaves a mark, and he will be missed. May God bless you, and all of your family Kyle.

Existential fibromyalgia

Here's my quandary- how do I find acceptance for my physical health without giving in to the pain? I think one of the reasons my fibromyalgia became disabling was that I just pushed through the pain for years, ignoring the cumulative affects it was having on me. I had things to do, by darn! For the most part it was a careful balancing act to continue working, caring for a family and still having a life.

All that came crashing down in 2004, when my body said 'Enough'! and just shut down, for the most part. Everything I had ignored for years demanded attention, and I realized the stress of being a probation officer and having my Mother-in-law live with us was too much. She was becoming more frail, and I was constantly concerned that she would fall while David and I were gone. The idea of her laying there for hours before one of us came home was very, very stressful. She was falling quite often, which created the concern. To her credit, she had the most graceful and gentle falls I'd ever seen. When she realized she had lost her balance, she would grab something solid and carefully crumple to the ground, so no broken bones. Nevertheless, the situation would not improve, only continue to deteriorate, hence the worry and concern for her safety.

Several therapist friends and the therapist I saw for a while have all said that it's important for me to honor my body and come to accept that fibro is part of my life. That sounds like a good idea, but in my mind it sounds more like giving in to the illness, and I'm not willing to do that. So every day I get out of bed, somedays much slower and later than others. I force myself to do something useful every day, even if it's just to clean out the dishwasher. One of the joys I have is doing genealogy research, it serves two purposes. One is the satisfaction of finding my family and bringing back their lives through compiling their history and preserving it for generations to come. The second is that I can do research at home, in my recliner, by computer. So even if I can't move, if my head is clear enough to think, then I can provide some service for my famly.

I do not have an answer to my question; finding acceptance of my physical limitations without giving in to the pain. I know that for me, it's best not to dwell on the pain very much or very often. Focusing on it, or even paying attention to it, brings an awareness of every joint, every vertebra in stark, acute pain. What's the point in that? So, somehow I need to be accepting, acknowledge the pain in me without giving in to it. Huh, that takes some more work...

Taxation fixation

We had a visitor yesterday, my sister Debbie came through on business. She worked on taxes here all afternoon, had a quick dinner before working on into the night, until 10:30. This time of year is crazy for her, so it was nice to get to see her at all, even though it was for business. She often works 12-14 hours a day this time of year, I don't' know how she does it. This morning she was off to St. Johns for the busiest weekend of her year. Hang in there Deb!

Today has been beautiful! it was in the high 60's all day, and gave me a little spring fever. My little winter garden is doing well, we've picked lettuce a few times, and the broccoli is coming along nicely. They all have heads on them, but none are big enough to pick yet. I think I have some cabbage and collards too, but they aren't big enough to tell them apart yet. Once it warms up after all this rain they'll really take off.

It feels like there may be a storm coming tonight, we'll see. I've been sluggish all day, even though it's so nice out. I let the chickens out into the front yard this afternoon, they are running around looking for bugs and greens, having a blast. I have to cover the row with the lettuce and stuff in it, or they'll pick it clean, but it's nice to have them scavenging bugs out there. I'm getting 3-4 eggs daily now, and I think I'll pick up a few more hens to round out the flock.

What a Storm!!!

Wow, we really had a screaming storm this week. We had a nice steady rain most of the week, however we woke up to a beautiful snow yesterday am, but then it switched to rain. Yesterday was the worst, we had to dig a ditch around the back porch to keep it from getting flooded. We routed all the water down into the garden, and then had an overflow into the big juniper tree and flower bed below the garden. It was raining steadily, so we were pretty drenched by the time it was thru.

It was after that I noticed we had a leak in the front room, water was literally running down the north wall. David was out of town, but luckily Nic was here, so he helped me dig the ditches and then he and Norm climbed up on the roof, dragging a huge black plastic sheet. The wind kicked up while they were covering the roof, so it was a pretty crazy time up there. I could here the thumping and banging as they struggled to set the plastic, and hold it down with bricks and pallets. It worked, the leaking stopped, and now we have to figure out how to fix the roof. We just had it redone last winter, so it's probably someplace the flashing isn't set right or something. Auugh!

My silly chickens didn't have the sense to get out of the rain, so they were pretty soggy by the end of the day. Gina helped me run them into the hutch about 5 pm, their feathers were soaked, they looked sopping wet, but they didn't want to go it, until I put some goodies in there to eat. Stupid chickens!

We probably got 3 inches or rain over the past few days, maybe that much just yesterday, who knows? At least we are high ground and didn't have to evacuate. People close to the Verde river and Oak creek were encouraged to get out yesterday, and they are supposed to peak at above flood level tonight. I won't complain, we sure need the moisture. Maybe this is the year the drought will finally ease up.

Finally, Christmas Pictures

I'm so slow, I just downloaded my pics from Christmas, and here's a few. So exciting, it's raining here, and supposed to rain all week! For Arizona, that's such good news. We'll be sick of it by the weekend, but we need all the moisture we can get.

Several of the chickens are laying now, we're getting 2-3 a day. doesn't sound like much, but it adds up. Mom's going to give me a few of her hens too, when they're a little bigger. Hopefully I'll get enough to sell some to the neighbors, there are a couple people that want fresh eggs.

Not much going on, we've been sick for the past week, I've had a sinus infection from he--. That and the weather has put me in bed for days at a time, I hate that! I'm about ready to take the Christmas decorations down, I like them and don't get in a hurry. The tree is naked again, waiting to go back in the box. I took all the ornaments and decorations off on Sunday afternoon. There are still ornaments that the kids made in grade school- my favorites. When they get their own places and settled more, I plan to give them the ones they made, but for now I get to keep them. I love the Nativity set, and that is usually the last thing put away.

I spent a bunch of money at the local yarn shop, up in Jerome. Knit 1, Bead 2 has such beautiful yarns! The plan was to buy some sock yarn for my niece for her birthday, but of course I couldn't leave without some yarn for me too. and a yarn winder, to create balls of yarn that pull from the center- much easier to work with than a hank of yarn. The bad thing is, when I took the car in for an oil change today, I ended up with bigger problems- the battery was very corroded and had to be replaced. I realized when they showed it to me that I hadn't looked under the hood for months, so I had no idea! My little red car is at 67,000 miles, so I also have to get the timing belt replaced. $$$$$ Why does it always happen in the winter, and after we've spent a wad on Christmas? At least we didn't charge anything for Xmas, but still. Well, at least I have a good car, and it's paid for, so maintenance is a small price to pay.

Reading, Writing and Resting

Someone asked me what I'm writing- it's named "Totally Committed- My spiritual journey up the rocky dirt road of life". Partly my life history, but mostly about what it's like to consciously have a spiritual path while working on a marriage, kids and career. I've read a lot of books about taking a spiritual journey somewhere else in the world, learning and growing and finding love, but I've not read much about the real world- how do you live a normal life and have a strong spiritual life as well. I know, a lot of people do it, but very few write it down. We'll see how it goes. I'm about 65-70 pages in. I'm currently reading 'A Secret Garden'. It's an old book, and quite good. I know it's a high school English favorite, but somehow I never read it then. Although I was a reading snob, if it wasn't over 350 pages, it just wasn't developed enough. Oh brother, so naive!

Yesterday I hit the wall, and literally couldn't move most of the day. I really don't understand what happens, but it's like my muscles stop working; fatigue, weakness, weird. Today's much better!
I'm also working on an index for the Haines/Cramblit Chronicles, the family history book about my mother's family. We tried to get an index together before it went to print, but Word 2003 wouldn't create it, and I hadn't used 2007 much yet. Several of the books' covers were messed up, the ink was coming off the beautiful picture of my grandparents on the front. I talked to the publisher, and they told me I could bring in the books that are bad and they will recover them, so I'm hoping that I can give them a couple pages of index to include in those books. We have distributed all but 8 of the first 50 books we published, so I'm planning to print another 20 or so. The hope is to put them on the internet somehow, to let other family members know it's available. The Cramblit line goes back to the late 1700's in it, as does the Chamberlains and it might be useful for other family lines besides the Haines' clan. Any how, I'm really proud of it, and I want to have enough copies available for the future.

Today I made laundry soap- it's surprisingly easy. I found a recipe on the internet for a liquid gel type. You take a bar of Zote soap, or a large bar of Ivory, grate it in a food processor or by hand, then mix it in 12 cups of water and cook it until the soap is completely dissolved, stirring regularly. Add 1 cup of Washing Soda- Arm and Hammer makes it, and 1 cup of Borax and 8 more cups of water, heat that until everything is completely dissolved, cook it on low/med for another 5-10 minutes until it's well blended, stirring regularly. Using a 5 gallon bucket, carefully pour the soap mixture into the bucket and add another 40 cups of hot water, stirring to mix completely. Let it cool and use it! It takes about 1/4 to 1/3 cup of detergent per load, a little more if clothes are heavily soiled. The first time I made it, I only made a third of the recipe, and it made just over a gallon of detergent, and worked very well.

2010, where'd that come from???

I was writing bills yesterday, and kept stumbling over the date. I remember being so blown away by surviving to the millenium, and thinking how awesome it was to watch the change of a century and into a new millenium all at the same time. I keep telling myself I'm not old, I'm still in midlife- and here I am experiencing the most amazing time in history. At the turn of the last century, 55 was old age, now we have another 20 years to look forward to, easily. Most of my grandparents lived into their 80's, pretty unheard of in 1900 I think. Now we are 10 years into the century, and I'm wondering where the last 10 years went. We moved here just over 10 years ago, and I still feel like this is a new experience. Another 2 years and we will be here as long as we were on the Colorado farm. That's hard to believe~

I'm still working on a book, I hit a writing block a month ago though, and haven't been willing to sit down to write for weeks. Time to get back on the computer. I really want to finish this thing!~

New Years was a very fun evening, Nic and Gina came over, we watched movies and played games. I have to say, I actually won at Trivial Pursuit! I haven't played it in years, and I thought I'd be pretty lousy. Maybe the kids let me win.....